All too familiar

August 7, 2011 1:44 pm

I don't remember where I heard about it originally, but I've had the book The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil (by Philip Zimbardo) on my wishlist for a little while.  Yesterday I was able to pick it up at the library and I'm reading it now.  I have a feeling there may be several blog posts that come out of this book.

The author is the creator of the infamous 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment (wherein students were randomly assigned as prisoners or guards and during which things went terribly wrong).  So he has a long and varied history of studying human behavior.

I'm only on page 11 but he already describes something that is all too apropos:

When a power elite wants to destroy an enemy nation, it turns to propaganda experts to fashion a program of hate.  What does it take for the citizens of one society to hate the citizens of another society to the degree that they want to segregate them, torment them, even kill them?  It requires a "hostile imagination," a psychological construction embedded deeply in their minds by propaganda that transforms those others into "The Enemy."  That image is a soldier's most powerful motive, one that loads his rifle with ammunition of hate and fear.  The image of a dreaded enemy threatening one's personal well-being and the society's national security emboldens mothers and fathers to send sons to war and empowers governments to rearrange priorities to turn plowshares into swords of destruction.

It is all done with words and images.  To modify an old adage: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can sometimes kill you.  The process begins with creating stereotyped conceptions of the other, dehumanized perceptions of the other, the other as worthless, the other as all-powerful, the other as demonic, the other as an abstract monster, the other as a fundamental threat to our cherished values and beliefs.  With public fear notched up and the enemy threat imminent, reasonable people act irrationally, independent people act in mindless conformity, and peaceful people act as warriors.  Dramatic visual images of the enemy on posters, television, magazine covers, movies, and the Internet imprint on the recesses of the limbic system, the primitive brain, with the powerful emotions of fear and hate. [The Lucifer Effect p11 - emphasis mine]

I read that and I can't help but think of what's happened in our country since 2001.  How much blind hatred has been stirred up against an entire people because of the actions of a few?  How many ways have we willingly allowed the feelings of fear, suspicion, and vulnerability be used as reason to change our society without factual basis?

It certainly has happened and is happening against anyone with a Middle-Eastern skin tone or practicing Islam.  But it's also spilling over into the rest of our societal interactions as well.  Has this not been the exact effect we've been seeing in political debates?  It's always how the "other side" is trying to destroy everything we hold near and dear.  Political ads are designed to instill fear and anger about what the "other side" is doing.  Carefully designed to get you to react emotionally rather than intellectually.  Because an intellectual position can be discussed and reconsidered; attempting to discuss an emotional position makes you "one of them."

As a society we're being pitted against each other.  It bothers me how much outright propaganda we allow because even when you know it to be nonsense and predatory it still achieves its goal of creating a new baseline of emotion.  A new baseline of suspicion, fear, and anger.  And making those emotions normal is only going to lead to trouble.

Catch-up Time

6:16 pm

Two weeks ago, July 14-16, Kyle and I went on our ward camping trip. We had a lot of fun! It was at Camp Shelly, a campground Livermore maintains up by Lake Tahoe. I think there were about 14 families there, and we got to split a site with the Badgers (which just happened to be near the bathrooms!). There are a lot of trees, so it's mostly shady, and a lot cooler than down here in Livermore. We had a lot of fun, but I got super cold at night. (I think my vascular system overreacts to cold.) We got through it though, and I'm glad we got to go since we probably won't get another chance to camp for a few years at least. (Kyle also took about a million pictures of chipmunks, but I don't have those. Mebbe he'll post some later.)

Last weekend, July 23rd, we went to see Macbeth at the Livermore Shakespeare Festival. It was just as beautiful out there as always, and we were super prepared with blankets and coats, so we didn't get cold. The play was really good, especially Lady Macbeth. She was awesome.

This past week has been full of baby stuff. We attended a breastfeeding class on Tuesday night and toured the Antioch hospital Wednesday night. Kyle kept playing with the plastic doll at the breastfeeding class and making it do weird things, like shake an angry fist at me. The tour was informative (even more so than you might think, due to our guide being a complete nutjob who would bounce from not-at-all-relevant topic to not-at-all-relevant topic) and, bonus, that hospital didn't freak me out! A lot of the medical equipment, tubing, wires, etc., in the birthing suites are behind cabinetry, so it really doesn't feel too hospitally. I think this is the hospital we're going to go with; we just need to make sure I don't need to go between 4 and 7 pm, because the traffic will be a nightmare. It takes 45 minutes to get there anyway! (The other hospital would also be bad at that time of day, but possibly not quite so difficult.) But Antioch is a much smaller, quieter facility and I liked the atmosphere there a bit better. More comfy-like.

I also had an ultrasound done Wednesday afternoon to check our little girl's growth (to make sure the medication I started a few weeks ago for migraines isn't affecting her). Everything looked great; all the measurements were pretty much spot-on (27-28 weeks), except for her legs, which were at 30 weeks. So I guess she'll have long legs! I also got to see her open her mouth, as well as her eyelashes and a lot of skin wrinkles. (Kyle had an important presentation at work, so he missed out. Sucka!)

We spent part of this afternoon rearranging stuff in the apartment to make room for the baby gear we already have. A couple of bookcases moved elsewhere cleared some space in the office for the crib and changing table. We'll need to make more room in there as we get more stuff, but it fits for right now. And we're still hoping a 3-bedroom apartment opens up soon! That would make things so much easier.

A Rollercoaster Day

July 25, 2011 7:43 pm

Okay, I've still got some old stuff to fill you in on, but I need to get today off my chest first.

On Saturday, Kyle and I were in Babies R Us, starting a registry. We saw that the travel system we wanted was on sale, but we didn't buy it. We weren't there to buy things. However, talking it over later, we decided that we should have (20% off is almost certainly the best deal we're going to get), so I planned to go back today and get it. First, though, I called the store this morning to make sure the sale was still happening (there had been no dates on the signs we saw). Unfortunately, I was told that the sale had ended on Saturday. Not awesome.

Well, Babies R Us is on the way to my biofeedback place, so I decided to swing by on the way to my appointment and check for myself. It was a whim, okay? Well, I walked in the store and the signs were still up, so I asked at customer service and verified that yes, the sale was still on. (Apparently there was another promotion that just ended...but the one I was thinking of was still going. Whatever.) Awesome.

So I buy the travel system, right? And the guy takes it out to my car and we proceed to try to get it in. Please note that I have a small two-door car ('99 Ford Escort, in case you care). Guy tells me to push the passenger seat all the way back and recline it all the way (in the process of doing which I manage to smack myself in the eye with the headrest, really hard--not awesome) and he finagles the huge box in. This is good, except that it's pressed up against my gear shift, making it impossible to actually drive the car. So he then tries to turn the box for a better fit, and I go around to the driver's side to help from there. When I do this, I see that he is exerting enough pressure on the box to crack my windshield where it is pressed up against it. So very not awesome! I get him to stop what he's doing and we just take everything out of the box and put the parts into my trunk.

At this point, I should have gone inside and gotten a manager, but I was quite upset and a bit flustered, and I had a biofeedback appointment to get to. (I also wasn't really mad—I know it was a complete accident, and it's not even like he dropped it or anything, just pushed too hard—so it's not like I wanted to storm in and get him in trouble and raise hell.) So I head off, crying all the way (I blame hormones!). I go to my appointment, explain what all had just happened (hey, she asked how my day was going!), and get a lot of sympathy and some good advice. Awesome. I also turn out to be a champion breather, as per the results of my biofeedback, which is especially impressive considering the emotional state I was in. More awesome.

On my way back home, I had to stop at the credit union to figure out what was going on with my card. (I'd tried to use it at their ATM on Saturday to withdraw some cash, but it said it couldn't read the card.) Nobody knew what could cause that, but it was eventually determined that there was something wrong with the magnetic strip. Of course, I went in last week to change the PIN on this card to something I could actually remember, and it was only after that that I started having problems. Logic would indicate that when she re-PINed my card, she screwed something up, but no matter. I had to order a replacement card, which will cost us $10. Not awesome.

So I finally get back home and tell Kyle (who was home for lunch) that although he didn't yet realize it, we were having a sucky day. Basically, Kyle is more annoyed about being charged for a new card than my broken windshield. I can't explain this.

Having been informed that a store like Babies R Us would almost certainly have insurance to cover exactly this sort of accident, I called the store and spoke to the store manager. He took my information and asked if I could come back to the store so I could sign a statement and he could take some pictures of the damage. I ate lunch and headed back out there, and although I never did get to see the manager (who was now trapped on a conference call), he had an employee bring me the paperwork and take pictures. I should hear back from him, though, and hopefully this will get resolved soon. Potentially awesome.

I came back home and got the stroller all put together and such. We don't have anywhere to put it and the carseat now, but still awesome.

So for those not keeping count, today's awesome:not awesome ratio is 5:4. Except that Kyle discovered when making dinner that the loaf of bread we just bought on Saturday (which should be good for another 3 days, and which he already used to make his lunch sandwich) has mold or something on it. It's just white, but it's speckled across both sides of every piece, rather as if their slicer was contaminated. [sigh] 5:5.

What we've been up to...

July 13, 2011 1:51 pm

We went by the Alameda County Fair on Saturday, and that was fun. Some friends had called on Wednesday to ask if we wanted to go with them that afternoon, but it was 99 degrees outside, so I declined. Crazy people. By Saturday, it had cooled down a lot, plus we went in the evening. We mostly just walked around and looked at stuff, but we picked up some more of those fancy caramel apples we found last year and I got my cotton candy fix. The worst part was that we didn't get to ride the swings! I had been wondering how well my belly and I would fit, but then the sign said it was not recommended for pregnant women, which I think is just dumb. I'm still kinda sad about this.

We've been trying to buy a house, but it's not happening. We've put in 5 offers on 3 different houses, but no go. We both really wanted this last one, but they went with another offer for the same amount, but a larger down payment. [sigh] This has been enormously frustrating, and I think we're going to take a break and save up some money for a bit. For right now, we'll just concentrate on making room in our current apartment for the baby and hope a larger apartment opens up soon.

I've had a couple more OB appointments, and everything still looks great. I passed my glucose test (thank goodness!) and the baby is measuring well. I recently started on a medication (propranolol, if you're interested) that should help prevent my headaches. I sure hope it helps, 'cuz it's been kinda rough around here. I also started doing biofeedback, so hopefully that'll help, too. Only time will tell, though. The late-pregnancy aches and pains are starting to set in, so that's awesome. I can only imagine how much fun I'll be having in a couple more months. The good news is that I can feel our little girl moving around pretty consistently now, which actually is awesome.